Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’, on the River …
I wish!
I’d love to tell you that this post is all about my vacation floating down a river on a beautiful sunny day.
But no, today’s song actually goes more like this …
“Rollin’, Rollin’, Rollin’ O’er My Finger!”
The participants in today’s musical number are:
and fabric, lots and lots of fabric.
You see, a couple of weeks ago I had this project that I thought would be really cool to try. It was a patriotic decor item and it would need lots of 2-1/2″ strips. I could’ve just bought a jelly roll, but I wanted to use up as much of my scraps as I could. And, since this was one of those “last-minute-holiday-is-in-three-days” projects, I was, of course, in a rush.
Now, how hard is it to cut a gazillion 2-1/2″ strips?
Not hard at all … except when you get going a little too fast …
And dawling Miss Ruthie Rotary,
with her beautiful,
shiny
sharp
blade
jumps over Roberta Ruler and runs straight up MY index finger.
HOW RUDE!
What WAS she thinking!
Not sure if I’m the main character or the supporting actress, but nevertheless, at this point in our little number I’m definitely
“Les Miserables”
… no, not the movie …
the actual meaning of …
The Miserable One.
OUCH! OUCH! OUCH!
So I did what any normal 51 year old woman would do.
Sent Miss Ruthie Rotary flying across the room, grabbed my finger, ran to the bathroom, turned on the water,and
SCREAMED FOR THE KIDS TO COME!
COME NOW!
Apparently they didn’t hear the panic in my voice. The boys kept watching tv and the daughter very calmly says, “Mom did you need me?”
Hmph … where’s good help when you need it!
So yes, I screamed again. I’m pretty surprised the whole neighborhood didn’t come running.
They heard me that time and came to my rescue.
Daughter got a clean washcloth, little guy headed for the band-aids, 19 year old stood there.
Sent 19 year old next door to get the nurse. Thank God she was home.
Her first instruction was to put it up over my head. Never knew that.
How does a mother of five not know that when you get a bad finger cut you put it up over your head?
Anyway, once we got the bleeding to slow down a bit, she took a peek and in her very nice sweet voice told me I needed to go to a doctor … I’d probably need stitches.
Darn.
That wasn’t on the schedule for the day. Didn’t Ruthie know that I had a huge project to finish, a bunch of pictures to take and edit, and a blog post to write?
Bless her heart.
So off to the doctor we went … and no, I didn’t drive.
I love it when doctors state the obvious,
“Wow! You cut your finger! How’d you do that?”
“Well, let me ‘splain …”
Then he says, “Well, I think your going to need a few stitches.”
“Aw shucks? And I thought I’d pop in just to get a cute little My Little Pony band-aid. Silly me.”
So, after a few shots of Lidocaine …
(… and just in case you wanted to know, that stinging and burning effect, I DO well remember it from the last epidural when my youngest was born 13 YEARS AGO! And “they” say we forget the pain of childbirth. Lies … all lies …)
three stitches, and a whole bunch of bandaging,
I’m almost as good as new … except now I have a finger that resembles ET.
And yes, my wonderful, loving children tease me incessantly …
“E T, COME HOME”
Do you want to know the worst part?
this isn’t the first time I’ve done this.
Nope. I’ve done it before. About 5 years ago.
So you’d think I’d learn my lesson, right?
But seriously … what are the chances of lightning striking twice?
Apparently pretty good … at least for me.
I would be totally and completely remiss if I didn’t warn you of the dangers imposed by Miss Ruthie Rotary and her friends-in-crime, Roberta Ruler and Matilda Mat.
But there’s GOOD NEWS! YES!
We need good news!
You see, it seems that I’m not the only quilter/crafter in this big world to have done this. There are companies with products waiting patiently to come to my aid and save me from three-peating this horrible adventure. And guess what? You can get them too … before you too end up in the doctor’s office seeking a Superman band-aid.
Ladies and gents, I present our under-studies to our character line-up.
Please join me in a great round of applause for …
Clover Natural Fit Thimble
This thimble provides great coverage for the lower half of your index finger. I’ve had one of these for quite awhile and it’s very comfortable. The leather provides a good “block” in the event the blade jumps the track.
Klutz Glove
The Klutz Glove from Fons & Porter is another great product. I’ve never, ever been disappointed with notions and tools from Fons & Porter. They’ve always been top quality. The Klutz Glove has stainless steel woven with cut-resistant fibers. The glove can be worn on either the right or the left hand, has rubber dots for gripping, and is washable.
O’Lipfa Safety Shield
The O’Lipfa Safety Shield is a clear acrylic L-shaped shield that adheres to the edge of your ruler, protecting your hands and fingers from travelling cutters.
Gypsy Grippers
Gypsy Grippers come in three sizes:
The Original Gypsy Gripper (shown on the right) … which is perfect for longer rulers.
The In-Between Gripper (shown lower left) … For large rulers and templates
Little Gripper (shown top) … for smaller templates
Please don’t follow in my footsteps.
Do as I say … not as I do.
Cut with caution and be safe!
And just in case you were wondering …
THREE WEEKS LATER
finger is all better and I’m back to my happy quilting self.
I did finish my project and will put up a post about it soon.